I have decided to apply for the position of All Blacks coach

I have decided to apply for the position of All Blacks coach. I feel I have superb qualifications;

Teamwork; - I never have an issue with teamwork as long as everyone does what I say.

Fieldwork; - I have a lovely garden so don’t see how I can fail to be creative in a field.

Rotations; I have rotated a few men in my time and it has not been wildly successful. Based on those experiences I firmly believe that no rotation would benefit the AB’s.

Uniform Colour; - as every fashionista knows black is the new…..black so no pansy pink shirts for the boys.

Footnote: Great Minds think alike. I see Beck Eleven (a Christchurch Press reporter) has done the same and has not even been shortlisted!